Thursday, February 7, 2013

Trouble is a Friend

Song:

Scripture:

Joshua 14:11-12 As yet I am as strong this day as I was in the day that Moses sent me: as my strength was then, even so is my strength now, for war, both to go out, and to come in. Now therefore give me this mountain, whereof the Lord spake in that day.

Picture:

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Trouble. 

(with a capital T that rhymes with P and that stands for pool, as in the tide pools we were sitting next to when this photo was shot, hence no g’s.)

Story:

That’s me and Niya my BFF.  Niya and I have both traveled very interesting paths to get where we are, but we are both staying out of Trouble’s way at present.

I met Niya at church in WC.  I was 9 months pregnant with my first kid and had some kind of wacky colored hair.  Niya was a newlywed supporting her {deadbeat} husband and going to art school in SF.  We met at church.  I walked out of Sacrament Meeting and there was Niya, standing against the wall waiting for me.  She said, “You look like you could be my friend” and we have been BFF’s ever since. 

Together we have seen some serious Trouble and we have climbed some mountains.  Niya had married the missionary, from whom she learned about the LDS church, in the temple after he had completed his mission.  Unfortunately, he was not everything he said he was . . . to say the very least.  He was addicted to pornography in a paralyzing way.  Niya speaks freely about this topic because while she was dealing with it she had very few female confidants.  Pornography is such a shameful addiction so it’s very difficult to find other women who admit that this is a problem in their relationship.  She’s walked that ugly confusing path, living with the influence of Trouble in her home.

I remember the blessing Niya received when she had just,  basically gone into hiding from him and it distinctly said that she could walk away with a clear conscience.  In the words of Yoda, “The force is strong with that one.”

In order to get this hurt woman back on her gloriously long legs, I marched a reluctant Niya into a modeling agency in SF and they signed her on the spot.

Then came the reign of Trouble for both of us.  The ordeal with her new husband as a new convert left her spiraling, as you can imagine.  I watched Niya rebuild her modeling career which launched her into Parisian society and hooked her up with a lot of interesting people who did not share her same moral code.  We connected regularly during these times and it was kinda scary to observe her venturing in some very dark places.  It’s hard to watch your friends float away from their anchors. 

When I visited Niya in LA I marched her (willingly) back into church.  She does a lot of marching at my behest.  Once there I reconnected with old friends and introduced Niya, but I never anticipated how effortlessly she was able to make friends and find a support network down there.  Since that time she has been off Trouble’s radar.

Of course during this time Trouble was kicking my ass too.  Three babies and the great vanishing husband? 

Niya and I were able to attend the temple together this time last year.  We’ve crawled up many mountains together – trouble with men, trouble with friends, trouble with choices, trouble with faith.   When I stumble she helps me back up. When she is feeling crushed I help her out. 

Trouble always comes my way and no matter what I feed it it always seems to grow.  But I have a buddy walking with me, beating Trouble into submission.

I used to be afraid of Trouble, but now Trouble should be afraid of me.

 

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8 comments:

  1. I know you said she was going to art school...I remember you posting about her artwork...and I think she is your dead body friend, too...

    I loved learning about how you two met. Kindred spirits, you are...(read in Yoda's voice)

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  2. It is a very special thing to have a BFF like that. I'm totally jealous, but at the same time blissfully happy for you.

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  3. I love you both and am bolstered in my own strength and faith by watching you two great women do brave things! Excited for niya's new SLC venture. If i lived in state I would be trying to be her model. Which would be hilar. But surely somebody wants a super short, stalky, thirty year old with a nice nose... Am I right, niya?

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  4. I think this is my very favorite post ever. Amazing friendship.

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  5. Glad you're back, miss Lenore. I missed reading your insights.
    Oh and I've had 'trouble is a friend' song stuck in my head all day!

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  6. I love that song and video. I love Lenore. I the the gospel and if any woman ever needs to talk about pornography, vent, ask questions etc. I am here for you anytime. Feel free to e-mail me at niyart@gmail.com
    Real gospel based love shouldn't make you feel broken.

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  7. I concurs with laurel. This is my favorite post you have ever written.

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